Meg Goes West

I was in Colorado Springs for a week for a "debriefing and renewal" program for missionaries coming off the field.  Wow, I didn't even know how much I needed it.  It provided much needed closure that I needed and really helped me see that God wanted me to lay down the burden of India from my shoulders (I think I'd been trying to foolishly carry that weight here in the states when I wasn't asked to by Asia YL or God.  I needed to let go and surrender to God's plan for myself and the Indians I left behind.  Lots of letting go of guilt and feelings of failure, accepting what God says about me instead).

Steve and Dyan Larmey work for YL Africa and I am so blessed that they were at the program the same week...THAT is insane!  Such divine intervention, I believe.  I was so blessed and encouraged by them and their stories/experience with Young Life.  And their 4 kids are pretty cool too!  We played lots of volleyball and frisbee that week.  #jollyfest

This is my new friend David.  He's the one with glasses :)  The other guys are part of his 2000-acre ranch in CO.  He is the father of one of my financial supporters.  It was so cool to see his cattle ranch and also get to tell him and his wife about YL in India. 

Then I went to San Francisco for a few days to meet with some YL folks.  However, I had no idea that Aug/Sept are the worst months for FOG!  So sad not to see the entire Golden Gate bridge :(  Oh, and it's FREEZING there!  Well...on one side of the "tunnel"...on the other side is hot.  Don't ask.  I do not understand the climate dynamic there, SO confusing!  Anyway, it's a beautiful city with lots of neat places fo sho!  Thanks to Steve, a trainer for Asia YL, for driving me around!

For anyone who knows me even a little bit, you know that I LOVE local coffee shops.  This is a cool one in Danville, CA called Sideboard.  As you can imagine, I was a huge fan of my breakfast choice and the mug they gave me :)  ps - that was the most amazing yogurt/granola/fruit bowl i've ever had!

This is Michele.  She basically runs YL Expeditions, which sends out teams of YL leaders/kids/etc to America and across the world to help with other YL areas in need...from providing the work crew for a camp to building cabins to teaching English.  Hopefully Nashville YL can partner with India YL by sending teams there every year!  You can pray for that partnership and a potential trip in March!

Ok, so I HAD to.  It's the "Full House" house :)

Rekindled to Live

I thought it would be easier.  I thought I would have more support from people higher up.  I thought they would now do the vision-casting and leading.

So I gave in to a slow death.  Death of a vision.  Because it's easier to swim downstream with everyone else and ignore a difficult calling (not that we all don't have difficult calling, I don't mean to belittle anyone else's).

This separation from the people and the place that I have come to love is so difficult.  Leaving is so hard.  Even though I have a complete peace about where I am, my heart longs to be there sharing life with them and encouraging them to love Jesus and let Him love them.

So, as we humans often do, I took a black and white approach...to just stop thinking about YL India and my friends there.  I figured now someone would take care of Siliguri YL.  There's nothing wrong with coming home and transitioning to life here.  But it's been tough to figure out what my role is now.

I'm grateful that the writer of a chunk of the New Testament was a missionary...Paul.  The guy started tons of churches but knew that for them to grow and for others to be started, he had to leave.  But he didn't just cut off all ties with them.  He prayed for them often.  He wrote to them.  And even visited them when he was able.  He expresses my heart for Indians in Colossians 2...

"My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, ³ in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. ⁴ I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments. ⁵ For though I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how disciplined you are and how firm your faith in Christ is."

In this season, I'm learning to cast my anxiety on Jesus and receive His care for me.  To know that the longing I have for Indians to know Christ is ok...I don't have to feel guilty for being in the US and not with them.  But at the same time, I do believe God is re-kindling my calling...or maybe re-shaping/refining it.  I have invested so much, and to come back to the US and get back into the grind has made me forget about my calling and where true Life is found.  It's just easier here because comfort is easily accessible.  So as I've forgotten the vision of YL, it seems I've also set aside the Greatest Vision - God Himself.

Guess this old hymn expresses what I feel God is calling me to do right now...

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face...and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.

Reverse Culture Shock

For those of you who don't know, I moved "home" to Nashville, TN from my "home" in Siliguri, India on June 13 (hence the blog's name change...India to Nashville).  Haven't been in Nashville much because of traveling but enjoying seeing my family on a regular basis and even some sweet friends.  Here are some reflections from the past few weeks...

*105 degrees feels awesome in a dress or shorts/tank top.  So I'm the only one sitting outside of Frothy Monkey.  But that's ok because sweating reminds me of India.  And I'm thankful I don't have to wear jeans and a sleeved shirt :)

*I've found myself bobbling my head when I really agree with someone...the Indian head bobble, oh my, it's in my blood.  Hilarious.  Especially when I'm with someone I don't know and can't just say "India."  see an informative video...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ0SuD_ulVk

*I miss eating rice with my hands

*I've almost spoken Hindi to random people at the gas station...who are not Indian

*It's not fun living out of a suitcase.  I want to jump right into life here and make it my own, but it's not really possible right now because I'll be traveling til the end of August and living with my parents til I find a place.  I know God wants me to live in these moments of uncertainty but I just want them to be done.  I want to get an apartment or house and put all my mugs in a cabinet and drink from them on my jolly, garage-sale leather couch.  God is teaching me a lot about waiting.  It's good but hard.

*Learning about long-distance relationships...no, unfortunately not that kind.  Friendships.  I have felt a lot of guilt for not "maintaining" the intensity level of friendships I had with Indians when I lived there. But it's just not possible.  Even just thinking about it is exhausting.  So I'm trying to figure out where the balance is.  Facebook is great for dropping lines every once in awhile.  An Indian calling card is good, too, when Young Life Sila has YL club and I need to talk to them about it.



*Conclusion - I need grace.  I need to receive it wholeheartedly.  Recognize I am insufficient to figure all this out but God's grace is absolutely sufficient.  I must surrender to this overwhelming, unfailing love daily.  Because my sin nature says to do the opposite and work, work, work.

Pray for me to welcome His grace as I transition to life here.

Letting Go

I am saying goodbye this week to people I love and have invested in for 3 years.  Yes, I'll see them again, Lord-willing.  But it's not the same as living in the same city day in and day out.  India is not my favorite place on earth and I'm honestly not too sad to be leaving the place...but it's people here that my heart has been forever attached to.

This week I've been reminded of the importance of handing over leadership.  As much as I don't want to believe it, staying here longer would create more dependence on me instead of reliance on God.  My good friend, and YL Sila leader, Munnu (actually my first close Indian friend) encouraged me yesterday by telling me that God has been leading her and other leaders to have more faith instead of being scared that I'm leaving.  "Unless you leave, we won't ever figure it out on our own."  We'll always depend on you and say, "Well, Megan's here so she can do it."

Me and Munnu in Nepal last September when we visited a Nepal YL camp

How true that has been.  Even me being gone for 3 weeks touring India with YL showed me how much leaders will step into roles when there is no one else to do it.  And it makes all the difference!  It is uniquely different and "Indian," the way it should be.  The way the leaders came together and pulled off the YL Sila Concert on May 26th called "BEATS" was unbelievable!  And 95% of it was without me!  I trust that God will inspire them and motivate them much more in the coming days, weeks, and years.


Another cool story: Munnu's cousin, Ernest, is a college student in Darjeeling but has decided to move to Siliguri to go to college...partly motivated by wanting to be involved with YL Sila.  He even came to our English class yesterday and jumped right into leading a group.  How grateful I am that God continues to show His faithfulness by sending the workers.

Will you take a few minutes to pray for these "workers" in Siliguri - to have faith and not fear - and that God would continue to send more workers to the harvest of teenagers?

Delhi

little sightseeing the second day we arrived

abhishek was telling people he's a famous rockstar from hollywood.  they all flocked for pics :)

yeah, india is HOT right now.  we're absolutely exhausted by 3pm.

all 4 of us on a rickshaw!

on sunday, eric played for a church's 8th anniversary.  this is the pastor and his wife.

i used all of my hindi (and they loved using their english) talking to these guys for almost an hour...yes i bought lots of shoes :)  if you want a pair, just let me know!

one of the best handicraft places in delhi

eric played for about 300 kids

saying goodbye to our sweet friends in the "band" :)

the guys in the band LOVED eric, they were such a jolly bunch!

YL Sila English Class!

This jolly group are some of the kids and leaders at our English class on Tuesday.  We started last week and had 21.  This past class we had almost 80 high school kids!  WOW!  Praise Him for this awesome group of teenagers!  And Praise Him for the leaders that sacrifice their time to teach them!

By the way, some of them are throwin' up the "YL" sign :)  So fun!

Pondering the story of Luke 5:1-11 as we "fish for teenagers."  <><

Motivation

Today I had lunch with one of our key Young Life leaders.  Her name is Javeen Rai, she's 28, and started her own school for poor children 4 years ago.  She's a CHAMP.  Because she takes risks for others and for the Jesus.  Her school has about 40 kids who pay very little, so she has very little income and pays her teachers a minimal salary.  She has also been helping us start Young Life in her part of town by spending time with high school kids...playing badminton, teaching English every Saturday, and tutoring.

As we ate at Subway, we started talking about her father.  He was the first Christian in their village.  He was 24 and was extremely sick.  One day a Christian man from a nearby town came to his house and told him about Jesus.  Her father told the man that if, after praying to Jesus, He healed him, then her father would follow Jesus.  At that point, he had been to so many doctors and no medicine or remedy had helped at all.  The next day he felt better for the first time and was completely healed.  So he committed his life to Jesus and decided he would give up everything for Him and for telling others about Him.  Before Jesus, he was as good as dead.  But this God was actually alive and had given Him life (physical and spiritual!) so he decided there was nothing he wouldn't give up for this Jesus.

So he went anywhere and everywhere to tell people who would listen about Jesus...and the transformation He brought.  Her father was an alcoholic before he met Christ but along with everything else, he left alcohol and never touched it again.  Javeen said that there was no place he wouldn't go to share Jesus.  Not only did he spread the gospel but he helped in the development of their village - roads, schools, water.  My conversation with Javeen today started because she told me that today her village is 80% Christian.  But when her father started following Jesus, he was the 1st one!  WOW!  What a legacy of faith and love he left!

Tears filled her eyes as she said that none of his children (herself included) was doing anything even close to what he did.  Oh how wrong she is!  She is sacrificing her life for the same Love that her father lived for.  And, like him, she asks for nothing in return.  She has never asked me for money.  She lives on a very small amount because she does not make much in teaching these children.  So why does she keep going?

LOVE.

Not from herself.  But from Jesus and HIS sacrificial love.  There is NO way I would be in India or Javeen doing what she does (running a school and loving teenagers through Young Life) if we were motivated by something like money or fame or man's praise.

NO.

It is Christ's love.  That deep, wide, high, and long love compels us to live for Him.  He desires that all would know Him and would experience all that He is.  So we, as followers of Jesus, seek out opportunities to be a blessing to the world in any/every way and to share Him.

¹⁴ For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. ¹⁵ And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

(2 Corinthians 5:14-15)